


Sover ikke i natt

by MermaidsandMermen (SophiaSoames)



Series: The Mouse Hunters [1]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Evak - Freeform, Evak AU, Jodel prompt, Kissing, M/M, No animals were harmed during the making of this fic, Pest control AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 21:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16416392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaSoames/pseuds/MermaidsandMermen
Summary: There is a mouse squatting in Isak Valtersen's flat. A bloody furry little thing with too many legs hiding somewhere in his home and it's freaking him out to the point of madness. He probably hallucinated the whole damn thing anyway. He just needs to sleep. He needs the thing found and out so he can get his head down on a clean pillow and rest for a little while until his life is manageable again. Please. He just needs a little help.He needs this Anticimex dude to turn up and fix everything that is wrong with his life right now, and then he will rest. Sleep for days.





	Sover ikke i natt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Allieverwas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allieverwas/gifts).



> The Jodel-prompt Pest-control AU that nobody except for Allieverwas asked for, and that I just had to churn out. Because why not? 
> 
> I wrote the title in Scandi and then promptly wordvomited out the rest in English. What am I like?
> 
> Anyway, a little fluffy oneshot with kisses. 
> 
> No animals or household pests were harmed in the making of this fic. Promise.

 

‘’Hmmm. Hi. Ehh... It’s Even from Anticimex. Pest control?’’

 

I try to step further into the useless alcove by the entrance to the block of flats. Fucking stupid architecture. Bloody useless hopeless intercom thingy that just makes clicking noises and I can’t hear a word the person on the line is trying to stutter out.

If whoever designed these flats had actually done their job right, then I wouldn’t be freezing my nuts off trying to get into to do _my_ job. And if whoever designed these door intercom thingies had done _their_ job they would have made them loud and clear, so people can easily communicate with their clients. OK?

Last job of the day. Some bloke insisting he has a mouse in his flat. On the 15th floor. Seriously? Yeah. Right.

 

Finally. The door buzzes and I try to manhandle my equipment and myself through the metal contraption of an excuse for a door whilst the wind swirls almost violently through the opening, making me shiver to the bone.

 

Yeah. It’s November OK? And YEAH, OK MUM, I should wear my approved winter jacket with Anticimex printed in neon letters on the back but to be honest? I’m just a little bit vain and I put up with the bloody overalls OK? The jacket, even though it should keep me warm, is not cool. Seriously. A dude needs to have a little self-respect and dignity left. Not that my threadbare trainers are cool, but I step in some shit through work and I tend to leave them in the van. It’s not like I take them home or go and traipse through my Mum and Dad’s kitchen wearing filthy work shoes. They’d kill me. Squash me like a cockroach.

 

Not that I’ve ever seen a cockroach. I’ve done the training, but it tends to be a little bit too cold for exotic pests in Norway and the only place that would perhaps get one is the import depot near Gardermoen and they have their own branch of Anticimex anyway. I just want to see one. That would be cool.

 

So, Pest control? I hear you ask. Yup. That’s me. Serial killer of creepy crawlies and wasps, remover of rats and mice. No bees have been injured on my watch. Save the bees. I’ve done that course too. I have all my certificates in a neat folder at home. Even Bech Næsheim. Saver of bees. Killer of wasps.

Humanely of course.

I don’t particularly like it, but it’s a job. It gives me a cool van. It pays my bills and I get to meet a lot of people who are scared and desperate, and I get to be the superhero of the day and save them all. One creepy-crawly at a time. Awesome.

To be honest most calls are easily solved. I can remove things and set live traps and put down the appropriate chemicals and be out of there in 20 minutes flat. Easy.

And then we have the hoax calls. I saw a mouse. Yeah right. Good one mate.

 

I sigh as I ring the doorbell. Rap my knuckles against the wooden door. ‘’Valtersen’’ it says on the door. I check my assignment on my phone whilst holding onto my bag with my chin. Yup. Right name, right door, right address.

 

‘’Hi!’’ I say trying to sound cheerful even though it’s Friday night and all I can think of is cold beer and greasy pizza and a couple of good movies snuggled up on the sofa in my own flat. No critters anywhere. No unwelcome pets. Just me.

 

The guy doesn’t reply. Just stares at me like I’m a freak or something. Well I have a standard issue face shield thing slung over my shoulder, a huge tool bag of equipment and a live trap thingy under my arm. And my phone. I know I look a little intimidating, but I’m a nice guy. Seriously.

 

‘’Mouse?’’ I try, trying to get some kind of reaction out of the guy.

‘’Sorry’’ He says, rubbing his face like he’s just woken up. ‘’Night shift. Not quite awake.’’

‘’Chill.’’ I say. Because I’m like that. Totally chill. Well. Even when faced with a totally hot dude wearing just underpants. Yup. I’m chill.

 

‘’Can you show me where you saw the mouse?’’ I start. It’s usually a good place to start.

He walks off down the hallway as my eyes don’t follow his back. Nope. I’m not staring at his back. Lean muscle and pale skin. A firm little butt in tight cotton lycra. Long legs that go on for days. Massive mop of curls on his head.

 

‘’Under the fridge.’’ The bloke says and points at the American style fridge freezer that pretty much dominates the room. Like he has a tiny kitchen and half of it is a fridge freezer.

‘’Wow. Cool fridge.’’

Yeah. I’m dumb as fuck, but he’s kind of naked and his front isn’t half bad either compared to his back. The dude is hot. He is also tired as fuck and looks totally wrecked. In a good way. Not like he’s partied to hard or such, he’s just exhausted. The kind of exhausted where I just want to wrap him up in a hug and tell him to go back to bed and sleep for a week and let me make him cups of tea and kiss his forehead good night.

 

I’m rambling in my head. That never ends well.

 

‘’It’s stupid. Ordered it online assuming it would be like a normal size? I was desperate, and it was on sale and then this monster turns up and I was too embarrassed to send it back. ‘’ The almost naked dude rubs his face again, whilst a little blush has crept up his cheeks.

‘’Easy mistake to make.’’ I laugh. I mean. Dude?

‘’I’m a junior doctor, I work crazy inhumane shifts and sometimes I am so bloody tired I can’t think straight. I probably hallucinated the damn mouse too but there are droppings under the sink. I turned the bloody kitchen inside out yesterday and can’t find the damn thing and I haven’t slept for days. Sorry. I shouldn’t make up excuses. It’s probably not your problem and I’m sorry if I have wasted your time.’’

 

I can’t believe he apologizes. It’s cute. And he looks cute too. He’s cute. Full stop. And hot.

 

‘’Look dude.’’ I sound like a dork, but whatever. ‘’It’s what I do. Let me have a look around and I will set up a live trap, and then if you catch it, just ring me and I will come and release the little fellow back into the wild. Easy.’’

That’s not the way we work. I am supposed to show him how to release any live catch and leave a handy leaflet on recycling the trap in the correct way. But who am I to say I can’t make a detour to help this very nice young Doctor? I mean he is right. He needs to sleep. Not run around releasing mice back in to the wild. Or whatever.

 

‘’Can you not just find it and take it away?’’

 

The fine young Doctor looks scared. Which is suddenly doing all kinds of things to my insides. I immediately add cuddling and kissing his cheeks and reassuring him that he will not die a horrible death getting mauled by mice on my watch, to my head canons. Nope. Not happening. I am his knight in shining polyester work clothes and I will keep him safe. I say neither of that crap though, just smile reassuringly and let my hand fall on his naked shoulder. His skin is soft. Warm. And his bottom lip is quivering a little.

 

‘’Doctor.’’ I say. I kind of want to tease here but I think he might burst into tears. ‘’It’s a very small mouse. It’s probably just as frightened as you are and by the look of your clean floor, he’s probably starving. OR she. Whatever this mouse is it will be lured out within a few hours and find itself safely in this little plastic trap, and then it won’t be long until it’s back where it belongs. OK? ‘’

‘’I fucking hate mice. Critters. Creeps me out. I can deal with stab wounds and gangrene and the worst dregs of humanity but I’m a fucking chicken when it comes to small things with too many legs.’’

 

I should remove my hand now, but he doesn’t even flinch at my touch. Or that the pad of my thumb is rubbing gently over his skin. I’m not being creepy. Honestly. I just want to make him feel a little bit better about me standing here and enjoying the view whilst he might be totally freaking out over a mouse.

 

‘’It’s a common phobia.’’ I say. ‘’Nothing to be ashamed about. I deal with these little ones every day and I usually take them over to the park and let them go. And it will be one hell of a brave little mouse to make it up on the 15th floor. ‘’

‘’That’s what bloody scares me. If it has made it up here, what’s to say he’s not hiding in my bed? Having a fucking snooze fest at the back of my sofa? I need to sleep. I can’t sleep. I’m too fucking wired to even think. I can’t even pick out some clothes to wear because the bloody thing might be in the wardrobe? Then I thought of going down and doing a load of laundry but then the mouse might be in the laundry basket. I just can’t function. I need to sleep. I really need to sleep, and I need this thing out!’’

The guy is wired. Totally. And in a weird way I get his point of view. I know what it’s like being wired. I know what it’s like when you haven’t slept for days. I know what it’s like to lose control and not have the foggiest clue how to make sense of yourself or reality. I know what it’s like and this dude, he just needs to sleep. Somewhere clean and safe and where there are no mice.

 

‘’I can look around, but I can’t guarantee anything. I haven’t got laser vision, and for all we know the little dude might have escaped back wherever he came from. I mean?’’ I reluctantly move my hand off his chest and start opening all the kitchen cabinets. All empty. All clean. Sparkling clean. Like you could lick your morning porridge off the surfaces.

‘’Please.’’ The guy has his head in his hands. Like he is about to burst into tears.

‘’Where did you say you saw the droppings?’’ I try. In my softest kindest voice.

‘’Under the sink. I poured half a bottle of bleach on it. Scrubbed it. ‘’ The dude sounds desperate. Tired.

 

He sounds like me. He sounds like me on a bad day.

 

‘’What’s you name?’’ I need to start somewhere. And now my brain is birthing ideas like a rabbit in heat and that is usually not a good sign. I’m impulsive at the best of times but this is probably not one of my better ideas.

‘’Isak.’’ He whispers into his hands. Then he stands up straight and runs his hands through his hair and I almost pop a boner at his display of skin in front of me. Tight cotton hugging the shape of his package. Muscles bulging in a neat little six pack. Tight chest muscles and flat brown nipples.

 

He reaches out his hand as to shake mine, and I drop my torch in the floor in the fluster I find myself in. I hadn’t even realized I had picked it up.

 

‘’Even’’ I say and manage to shake his hand like a proper person. Firm and warm. My best politest most charming smile on display.

‘’You could go to a hotel? Then I’ll come back tomorrow and check the trap.’’

 

He should not go to a hotel. He should come home and sleep in my bed. I would wrap him up in cotton wool and rock him to sleep and play soothing music on my Bluetooth speaker until he’s fast asleep in my arms safe from the world of mice. Or something.

‘’I suppose.’’ He sighs. ‘’Any recommendations?’’

 

Isak. The doctor dude. The hot mice guy. Whatever I am calling him in my head, he turns around and walks out in the living room and returns holding his phone. Looking at me like I have got all the answers.

‘’I’m not really a hotel kind of guy.’’ I say. That sounds seedy. Like I’m a slutty kind of back alley hook-up kind of guy, which I am not by the way. Nope. I’m all about flowers and dating and taking things slow. So slow that I haven’t had a boyfriend for over a year. Nor a girlfriend. I’m single and happy and calm and all is good. And I should keep it that way.

‘’Me neither. I just want to sleep.’’ The guy whinges. Isak whinges. My future boyfriend and baby daddy whinges. I am whistling the wedding march in my head already. Daydreaming. The smile on my face probably making me look deranged.

 

‘’Look. I might be totally out of place here, but I have a suggestion. Just an offer. Just hear me out.’’ I’m talking with my hands here, waving my torch about in an ill-fitting polyester overall wearing very bad trainers and I am probably about to get myself thrown out of ‘Isak the man-god with tight underpants who I might want to marry’ ‘s apartment and get reported to head office for harassment, but whatever.

 

Balls. I have them and I’m going in.

 

‘’Yes?’’ My darling future husband replies.

‘’I live about 15 minutes away. Nice clean flat. No mice. I’m the pest-control dude, all right? I would know if there were any around, and I can guarantee there are none. ‘’ I can. Honestly.

‘’And?’’ The pale ‘God of men who’s skin I want to lick’ says. Looking at me like he expects me to serve him this mouse on a silver platter.

 

‘’Get some clothes on.’’ (NOOOOOO my brain screams) ‘’And come home with me. I have a nice clean flat and you can sleep as long as you want, and I might even throw in some breakfast when you wake up. I have a Nespresso maker. I have bacon, and I make ridiculously good scrambled eggs.’’

He doesn’t reply and I kind of blush in my forwardness. Seriously Even. I need to have a stern chat with myself. I need to grow up. I need to join a dating agency for the successful professional. (Yeah right.)

 

I need to stop saying stupid shit.

 

‘’Is that a pick-up line or are you just genuinely a nice guy? Or am I about to be driven off in your work van and buried in a shallow grave in the woods somewhere?’’

 

Isak, my darling sleepy baby, is rubbing his eye with one hand and smiling. He’s smiling. And if I thought he was hot before he is bloody stunning when he smiles.

‘’I don’t know?’’ I reply weakly, but I smile back.

‘’I usually wear clothes.’’ He says, and he suddenly looks a little shy. Like he is being totally unreasonable and knows it. Which he is not. He’s just being cute and a little bit irrational.

‘’I don’t mind if you don’t want to wear clothes. But it’s November and it’s bloody freezing outside.’’

 

‘’You never answered my question.’’ The love of my life says. Whilst my heart is jumping in my chest.

‘’What was the question?’’ I whisper whilst I am pretty much drowning in his eyes. I am. I’m swimming. Doggy paddling badly in eyes that are crinkling at the edges and his smile. He’s so fucking tired. So fucking pretty.

‘’Even?’’ He questions.

‘’Yeah?’’ I slur. Because he’s too close to me.

‘’So, you are setting the mouse thing, then I am coming home with you in your van and sleeping at your flat and you are making me bacon and eggs.’’ He says. Like it’s normal. Whilst I am probably drooling.

‘’Yes. Please.’’ I reply like the idiot I am. Because I can’t control myself around this guy. He’s magnetic and wrecked and tired and alarmingly handsome and making my head spin. All at the same time.

‘’And the question was. Is this like a ‘’I’m a kind guy helping this idiot who has a completely irrational phobia of mice.’’ Kind of thing? Or is this what I think this is?’’

 

My gorgeous perfect man is speaking, and I am barely listening.

 

‘’What do you think it is?’’ I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid. He’s so pretty. He’s mine. He will be mine he just doesn’t know it yet.

‘’Even, I’m too tired to think right now but I do know when someone is flirting with me. And I usually don’t make a habit of walking around in the nude, or hooking up with people who come out to provide a much-needed service…’’

 

Isak, the Knight Commander of the gorgeous men in the world, grimaces.

 

‘’That sounded really dirty. I didn’t mean it like that.’’

‘’I am always happy to provide my services.’’ I laugh. ‘’But I don’t put out on the first date.’’

 

I would. For this guy I would drop my pants and get on my knees. Right now. Just say the word.

 

‘’Is this going to be a date?’’ The most handsome almost naked man replies, and his eyes are twinkling.

‘’You’re gorgeous.’’ My mouth blurts out.

‘’And you are very very handsome. Even in your work gear.’’ The man-God of all my future dreams says quietly.

‘’Thank you.’’ I whisper. Because now he has me tongue tied. Swallowing loudly.

 

We stand there. Quietly. Him smiling a little mysterious smile and me probably drooling again. I’m so bad at this. I’m so fucking bad at this.

 

‘’I’ll…. I’ll just set up the trap.’’ I stutter out and turn around in a full circle. I haven’t got the foggiest what I am supposed to be doing.

‘’Good…. Good?’’ He sounds as confused as me.

‘’Yeah.’’ Great answer Even. Really great.

 

‘’When you are done, do you think. Could you? Ehhr….’’ He’s stuttering too. I think we might be well suited. Two big messes of humans who might just make an even bigger mess of our lives if we spend a little time together, but whatever. He’s mine. Isak Valtersen. It sounds great whispered out loud. Even and Isak Bech Næsheim Valtersen. Even and Isak Bech. Even and Isak Valtersen. Dr and Mr Isak Valtersen.

 

I need to get a grip. I need to get a grip.

 

‘’Even, can you just help me get some clothes out of the wardrobe and shake them out in case there is a bloody mouse in there?’’

 

His voice is strong, but he is hugging himself and is obviously still in some kind of distress. Then he yawns, and I just want to scoop him up and put him on my knee and tell him to sleep and I will keep him safe from the world. Forever.

So, I think my brain must have short circuited. Or I think I might be laughing. I might be doing the most stupid thing I have ever done. Or maybe I am finally doing something right.

Because I walk up to him and I put my hands around his face. I just hold his face and my thoughts immediately start to do the backstroke in the pools of green that are his eyes and my mouth is smiling and his face is blooming in pink.

 

He’s so cute. He’s so bloody cute.

 

‘’Just chill Isak.’’ I say. His name tastes like honey on my tongue. Sweet and perfect.

‘’I’m an idiot.’’ He mutters. ‘’I know it’s totally irrational.’’

‘’It’s fine. Honestly. I’ll sort it.’’

 

This is where I should let go of him and walk off in search of this wardrobe of mouse infested clothes he speaks of. This is where I should be responsible and take things slow. This is where I should not be me.

 

But I am me. And I do things without thinking, and sometimes that lands me in trouble.

 

I don’t let go of him. His face is still in my hands. His eyes still on mine.

Then I do it. I close my eyes and l angle my face a little, so I won’t squash his perfect nose and I lean in and I very very softly put my lips on his.

 

I don’t know what I am expecting. A slap? A shove away? Laughter?

Instead he gulps out the cutest little moan. Almost like a little gasp.

 

I love it. It makes butterflies appear in my stomach and my blood tingle like some instant drug has been injected into my veins.

 

‘’Do it again.’’ He whispers.

So, I do.


End file.
